No, the checklist we're talking about is more a mental one-the sort of checklist you might prepare when you're interviewing someone
for a new job. If they speak Spanish, can type 50 words per minute and have experience on Mac, they might soar ahead of the high-school
drop out who thinks Mac is the name of the guy working the mail room.
If you have no problem getting particular with someone you plan to spend eight impersonal hours per day with, why wouldn't you use
the same caution with someone you might potentially spend the rest of your life with? These aren't all questions you necessarily need
to have answered on your first date-some of these will unfold over time. But it's good to have a solid idea what you're looking for
going into a first date.
Why? Because there comes a point in every relationship where you reach a crossroads. It's that point where you're faced with that
inevitable something that bugs you about the person you're dating. And that's when you ask the questions: Is this something I can
live with or is it a deal breaker?
The mental checklist might be different for everybody, but some of the questions are universal. To get you started on this decision
making process, we thought we'd throw some questions out there you might want to consider as you venture into the dating world. And
if enough of these are important to you, you might want to print this sheet off and keep track-sometimes it helps to look at a good
thing on paper to see how good you really have it. and to see a not so good thing staring you back in the face.
Is there sexual chemistry? Not necessarily in the sack, but a steady, flirtatious vibe between the two of you?
Is that smile on your face genuine? Do you have a truly good time together?
Do you want the same thing out of life? Things like career direction, cities you want to live in, children, pets come to mind with a
question like this.
Do you get along in each other's social circles? You don't have to be best buds with each other's friends, but the ability to hang out
without throwing most of them off of a bridge might be nice.
Is education important? Some people have a real problem dating someone who barely has a GED when they're sporting a doctorate from Harvard?
A lot of people say you can tell a lot about what a person will be like as a partner by watching how they interact with their family-a wise
thing to pay attention to.
Sometimes, opposites attract, but sometimes, and introverted person who likes to stay at home with the Tivo and an extroverted person used to
being the life of the party do not match in heaven make. That's up for you to decide?
Is age important? To some, it's just a number. To others, it really matters, but you'd better answer this one for your self early, because
someone who's too old for you is only going to get older, and if you have trouble keeping up with the young one now.
Are there at least a few common things you both like to do in your spare time? Doing everything alone gets boring awfully fast.
Religion is a big issue for some people. If it's a major deal breaker, best to be open and honest about it up front than fall in love and have
a difficult decision to make later.
Do they make you feel good about yourself? The purpose of a partner is to compliment you and lift you up, not get you down.
Honesty is a huge issue for some people. Someone who starts with little white lies (age, education, where they grew up) might just be hiding
big lies. It's a good thing to know just where you draw the line.
Do they have a pretty good idea of what makes you tick? Can they tell what makes you sad, what makes you happy, what makes you laugh-or do
they have no clue how to read you at all?
Once you make your way into the bedroom, it is essential (I can't stress this enough) that the two of you be compatible. One of the main causes
for breakup in couples is sexual incompatibility.
How serious are they about being in a relationship? If you meet online, check out their profile. Are they looking for "the one to spend the rest
of their lives with" or "a one night stand with no strings." Don't try and mold someone into wanting what you want, because it won't work.
Like I said, some of these may be essential to you. some may not matter at all. There may be makers or breakers that we completely missed. But
as a basis to start from, this should get you going.