The Internet is a tricky thing at first. Tons of faces you really don't know much of anything about staring back at you from
the screen. They could be saying or thinking just about anything, yet you can't find the one thing to say that's going to get
their attention.
Cyber small talk just takes practice. Like anything, it's tough at first, but with a few creative and easy to master ideas, you'll
be chatting up a storm in no time.
First, the don'ts. They are very few, so we'll get them out of the way quickly.
You want to say something, so the only real don't to cyber chit-chat is to say nothing.
When all else fails, tell the truth
Hi
How are you?
Nice pics!
Wanna screw?
With exception to the last one, which is just in poor taste (except for with a very few, cut to the chase types . and if you're
on that sort of site, well then, go get 'em), none of these first impressions show any creativity. They die on impact, if you will.
You think you're the only one e-mailing this person? Think again. You need to stand out from the crowd - dare to be different.
Jokes are good. If you have a sense of humor (where people genuinely laugh with you, not just to be polite), use it.
If their profile caught your eye in the first place, then there's likely something in it you can use as ammo. I won't give you an
example because good humor is typically spur of the moment. Suffice it to say, you'll know you have a good opening joke when it comes
to you and if it doesn't, well . don't force it.
one of the best ways to meet people online is when you're new to the area.
Perhaps you two share some random coincidence, like you were born in the same small town, you both have the same favorite
movie, maybe you're reading the same book at the same time, you have a common friend. Use these things to your advantage. They are definite
ice breakers. Just don't fake them. I once had someone tell me "The Scarlet Letter" was one of their favorite books because they saw it in my
profile. Lemme tell you . in the book, they don't get it on in the hay like they do in the Demi Moore movie. Needless to say, I didn't write back.
Perhaps you two share some random coincidence, like you were born in the same small town, you both have the same favorite
movie, maybe you're reading the same book at the same time, you have a common friend. Use these things to your advantage. They are definite
ice breakers. Just don't fake them. I once had someone tell me "The Scarlet Letter" was one of their favorite books because they saw it in
my profile. Lemme tell you . in the book, they don't get it on in the hay like they do in the Demi Moore movie. Needless to say, I didn't write back.
If you have genuine common interests, especially hobbies that aren't shared by too terribly many people, bring those up. They ask
you to list hobbies in your profile for a reason . because it makes it easier to initiate a chat. Who knows - maybe one day soon, the two of you
could be enjoying a nice afternoon of tobogganing together.
If you really don't know what to say, you could play the old I'm just a lost little lamb routine, but that only works the first
few times you visit a site. That's where you message8i someone and say, "I'm new around here and just looking for someone to show me the ropes."
Like what button you push to add someone as a friend? How to upload photos? Keep 'em talking. You can sneak personal questions and epithets in
among the technical mumbo jumbo.
And along those lines, one of the best ways to meet people online is when you're new to the area. You want a tour guide, where
the "must" hang outs are, and what better way to find out than by asking an obviously attractive, well connected someone you stumble upon online?
When stuck for words, be blunt or shock them. This is one of those that could potentially backfire, but some people are born risk
takers. This is for you. If it looks like the sort of profile that might respond well to blunt behavior, give it to them. Desperation? Bring it on!
Horny as hell? Why not! You used to stare at her in gym class 15 years ago? You may come off like a stalker, but I say go for it. People say this
sort of thing all the time, but it's true. You'd rather be told to take a hike than never know.
When all else fails, tell the truth: why did you really feel compelled to e-mail this person. Hey, with any luck, maybe you'll snag
someone with a sense of humor and they'll think you're kidding. "I've been staring at profiles for 25 minutes and yours is the only one I keep coming
back to." A bit strong, yes, but hey . no one can fault you for being honest. Of course, they'll probably ask why, in which case you better not have
just typed that to 20 other profiles.
The point is, you don't have to spend 25 minutes stumbling over ways to say "I'm interested in getting to know you" when the possibilities for a first
hello are endless. So next time, instead of running the risk that this special someone might log off as you try and formulate a forced how-ya-do, give
one of these suggestions a go!