Nothing deals a harsher blow to the confidence than sitting home for a third Friday night in a row while your friends are out on dates,
with friends, at clubs. anywhere but on the sofa watching Jennifer Love Hewitt in that damn ghost show. But instead of
sending you to the freezer for another pint of Chunky Monkey, it's time you get off your butt and do something about your self image.
Everyone needs a confidence boost now and then, and if you're the one responsible for typing up those Web profiles so people will chat
with you online, you need to make sure your confidence is at an all time high. No one wants to date the who's "short, packing a fee
extra pounds working a dead end job and spends weekends at home with her cats." But an "upwardly mobile voluptuous 5'2" girl with a passion
for animals" is bound to get more than a few e-mails.
If you've been finding your self image is in a bit of a rut, fear not-we've got some tips to get you out of the dumps.
Join a Gym - People seem to think you only join a gym when you need to lose weight, but the benefits go so far beyond
tucking and toning. Yeah, a major benefit is that, done right, you'll whip your body into shape-and that will definitely improve your self image.
But beyond that, working out is like detox for your mind. It transports you someplace where all you have to focus on is the task at hand, and those
stupid little things you obsess over disappear. If the gym isn't your thing, go for a run, a bike ride, a walk in the park, rent a kayak,
but do something to get out there and get moving.
Remember Happier Times - Something a lot of people tend to forget is that confidence is about highs and lows. I strongly believe
very few people on earth have no confidence all the time. So the trick is to wrap your mind around the times when you're feeling more confident-maybe
it's the way you looked, a job you had, an award you won, the friends you were surrounded with. Once you've zeroed in on a memory or two, make a list
of the things that were different bout your life then and make it a goal to get back into that mindset. Some changes will be attainable-others won't,
but even trying to get back one or two of the things that contributed to your increased self esteem is a step in the right direction.
Target the Problem - Most people are of the misconception that low self esteem is almost solely based on physical appearance, and that
couldn't be more wrong. For years, with me, my self esteem stemmed from my finances. Growing up, I never had as much as my friends and then, in college,
I made up for lost time by spending every last conceivable dime a creditor would let me get my hands on. Guess what! It didn't work. But I've dealt with
my money issues. For you it might be education, the clothing you own, a past relationship. Shedding the feelings you have about certain things will
undoubtedly take time, but you can help the process along by focusing on the things you're proud of-parts of your life that make you hold your head up high.
Treat Yourself to Something Just for You - You don't have to go out and spend thousands of dollars on a new car just to make yourself
feel good. But a lot of people suffer from what I call "them before me" syndrome. Everyone else gets what they want first and then, whatever spare change
or fleeting minutes are left go to me. You have to get out of that mindset because sometimes, the key to putting your mind into a better place is listening
to what it wants. I don't think there's anything wrong with spoiling yourself rotten every so often, and whether that's an extra scoop at Ben & Jerry's
or the leather jacket at the mall, doing nice things for yourself will allow you to accept the possibility of letting other people treat you well.
Have a Friend Write Your Profile - For many people (I know my best friend is this way), the key to seeing yourself how other people see you
is in letting someone else do the talking-or in this case, writing. You're never going to be able to draw attention to your package (and that's what a profile
is, after all. a package) if you can't talk about it in the most positive light. The reason I suggest you have a friend do it is because they obviously like
you for a reason. If they didn't, why waste their time talking to you. Find a friend who will willingly do it without giving you grief and pay close attention
to all the nice things they say.
And When All Else Fails.
Get Your Butt Out on the Town - People constantly claim that the worst thing about a date is feeling awkward or out of place. If you've spent
the past few months chilling out with your TiVo, any public place is bound to feel awkward. So instead of waiting until someone answers your request to chat
with a dinner invite, gather some friends and go out for the night. Make sure dating and finding a hook up are the furthest thing from your mind. Your one goal
for the evening is to have fun, and if all goes according to plan, the next time you prep to go out, you'll be feeling a lot less pressure.