My Online Special Someone
In a Relationship with Someone You've Never Met? How to Know When You've Gone Too Far!
Story time! I have a friend who met me for dinner one night to tell me all about her new boyfriend. Funny, smart,
motivated, really going places, she said with glee, to which I could only reply, 'Well I can't wait to meet him'.
And then she dropped the bombshell: She'd never met him either!
I'm all for meeting people online. If the tools are there for you to chat with interesting people and get to know
them without the pressures of the dating scene, go for it. There's nothing like being able to impress people with
your wit and charm while digging through a bag of Doritos from the comfort of your living room. Talk about worry
free dating.
But there comes a point when every relationship must progress to the next level-and by next level, I mean meeting
in person to see if you're indeed compatible. A lot can change in the time it takes to look someone in the eye and
shake his or her hand. And while I salute people who say they "fell in love through emails and letters" (most of
whom have likely seen that Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick You've Got Mail a few too many times), they didn't really fall
in love that way. They fell in love with the person they imagined to be sending those emails, but they had to meet
up face to face before they could really be sure.
The beauty in meeting people online is that it allows you to take your time and really get to know that person-you
can talk about anything you like, chat, laugh, have fun courting and then decide to meet up. It's genius, really-if
you don't put the cart before the horse. In other words, if you're calling friends to tell them about the new
boyfriend you've never even met (and you're serious), you're probably moving too fast. Here are a few other signs
you might be looking for 'I do's' too quickly.
Forget lunch or cocktails-How does a weekend in Vegas sound?
Remember, this person is a perfect stranger. No matter what they may or may not say in a chat room, you need to
get to know them in a casual, no pressure setting first. Jet setting off for a weekend getaway is like locking
yourself into 48 hours of togetherness you from which you can't escape.
You like to do what in bed?
Don't get me wrong-there's nothing wrong with taking your conversation to "the next level" online, but
before you go too far and get too graphic, you might like to see if there's any physical attraction when you meet
in person first.
You're in Los Angeles and They're in Miami.
Long distance relationships work every day, but typically, these success stories presumably started with a first
meeting-in person. If you want to take a leap of faith and fly across the country to meet someone online, that's
romantic and very sweet. Just don't go presuming you're going to come back spoken for-finding another reason you
want to go to said city might help release some pressure.
I Wonder What He Sounds Like on the Phone.
OK-I'll give you not meeting up yet. Putting a face to the person who gives you goose bumps when you chat online is
a scary thing. But at the very least you should be talking on the phone before you start going around saying you're
in a relationship. What if said someone can't carry on a conversation, or manages to completely turn you off with
the sound of their voice? This is one step you can most certainly take before getting together in person.
Saying 'I love you' is Never a Good Sign.
Granted, they're the three words most people wait their whole lives to hear (and they're usually best uttered in the
heat of the moment), but if that heat is generated by fingers rapidly flying across a keyboard, it's not precisely
the sort of heat we're speaking about. The sentiment may be genuine-the intention to flatter, that is-but the emotion
behind it is probably forcing something that isn't quite yet formed.
And Finally.
Planning a Life Together Should Only be in Good Fun.
You know, like playing house. He wants three kids, I want three kids. He has a great last name and I want it to be mine.
Cute, if you're messing around. But the minute you start spending your days dreaming about a life with NewprtBchDoc1973,
you've officially taken this chat thing too far-and it's high time you start suggesting restaurants for your first in
person encounter.
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