Allow me to be blunt-this is the point of your journey where I'm going to urge you to do something a bit off the beaten path. For years, we've heard all the rules-wait a few days before calling, don't show too much interest, nothing sexual until at least the third date.

Take everything you've heard and throw it out the window.

Why? Because frankly, it's all crap. Your friends weren't on the date. The author of your self help book wasn't on the date. I wasn't on the date. so in that regard, none of us have any business commenting. If you think your date went really well and you want to make a good night call 25 minutes after you drop your date at the car, do it. If you're having a really good time and you want to let your date know, I say why not. Playing hard to get may be well and good for some-and it is true that some people like the thrill of the chase-but to do anything that doesn't seem in line with your character is pointless. This is one of those moments where you should let your true colors show.

As for what you say when you do call, really, anything is fair game.

Well, OK-not anything.

Don't put the cart before the horse. Don't go proposing marriage before you've gone on a second date. Don't start bringing up how this is the first time you've felt good about a date since your horrible breakup. too much, too soon. But if you want to see this person again and you think it would be good to spend more time together, say so.

Come armed with a few possible times that work for you.

If you narrow your availability down to a two hour window on the weekend and they're not available, chances are you're going to get a big, fat no. If you leave them with a few options, not only is the ball in their court (if the feelings are reciprocated they'll pick a time and you'll meet again) but they'll know you're flexible and easy going, two totally attractive qualities in a mate.

There is always the chance that your feelings aren't reciprocated, in which case you can handle it in one of two ways. Cut your losses and move on, which is what most people probably prefer to do but seem to have trouble with. The other option is to ask what the reason is. but bear in mind, you might not get the answer you're looking for. 'It's not you, it's me'. 'I'm just not looking to date right now'. 'You deserve better'. All age old sayinsg people use so they don't have to own up to the truth. If you're dying to know, ask, but I can tell you from experience, coming to the realization that any number of things might contribute to their not being into you-taking that knowledge and learning to move on-is a whole hell of a lot easier.

So once you know whether or not there will be a date two, all that's left is doing it all over again.

If it's back to the Web with you, sometimes it helps to make notes of the pros and cons of your last date. What worked, what didn't-on your end and on theirs. Just because you two didn't hit it off doesn't mean you can't take something from the experience. Was it an issue of not being attracted to each other? Hey, it happens. Maybe you were too attracted too each other-i.e., meant to be best friends without crossing that line. Maybe it's as simple as something looking good 'on paper' and not translating well in person. Whatever the case, don't ignore your feelings. Write them down so you know what to do differently next time around.

Maybe you struck gold and next time around is this weekend-with the same person. Sure, second dates are far less nerve wracking than first dates, but they can still make you a bit on edge. Don't sweat it-they obviously liked you. Now is the time to let your guard down and just go with the flow.

Don't get hung up on details. The first date was all about setting the stage-date two is where you can really get to know each other. I would still steer clear of things like bad break ups and sob stories of relationships past. They'll come up when they come up, inevitably, and if someone asks, by all means, answer. But you don't need to share details like that to make conversation-there are plenty of other things to chat about.

In fact, date two is the point where I tend to teach people the most important lesson of all-learn to go with your gut. There are people who seem to make all the wrong choices over and over again. Some say it's because they never learned any different. Others blame it on the very real problem some people have with repeatedly being attracted to the wrong types of relationships.

I say it's quite simple, really. We all have a conscience. We all have a gut feeling that tells us when something is right for us or terribly wrong. Some of us learn to listen to our gut while others turn it off and put it away-time and time again. You know what you're looking for. You've made the list, written the profile, sent the emails, invested time in the chats, gone on dates. With all of that prep work under your belt, chances are you have a pretty good idea of what you need next. Trust that you'll make the right moves and, until then, just go out there and have a good time.

This it's, butterfly. We've reached the end of our training course, so to speak. Keep these articles around as a tune up if you need it every so often. It never hurts to take a refresher course. Until you read again, happy dating.

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