Part Three:
Creating the Perfect Package
You know what you want-you know how you want to go about getting it. And now, it's time to put your actions to work for you.
Putting yourself out there for the possibility of a relationship doesn't mean you have to plaster the internet with profiles,
show up at every singles night known to man and literally prowl high and low for the one to make your half whole. But it does
mean you have to be open to the possibility of finding someone, and to do that, you have to be willing to do a pit of leg work.
I'll start with the Web-after all, you all obviously log on enough to read this article and the two before it, so you're open
enough to the idea of dating online that you've visited a dating Web site. So that covers step number one which is to pick a
site to start with-you're here, fantastic.
And since you've chosen MegaMates.com as your starting point, it seems only fitting that I'd walk you through the process of
setting up a killer profile for this site. The rules and steps will vary from site to site, but at least you'll have an idea
of what I'm getting at.
When you sign up for free, the first page is going to ask you for two very important things- Username and headline. The
username is what people are going to remember you by, so make it catchy. Don't put your first and last name. Try not to
use years or ages because guess what-my CollegeStud2001 screen name was outdated really quickly. I find that using something
quirky-something that means something to you but might come off as cryptic and intriguing to someone else tends to work.
It gives them something to ask about.
In your headline, consider this your very brief thesis-your mission statement. Tell people what brings you online, or a ten
word intro to what they'll find if they peruse your profile. The headline, "Show me mine and I'll." is sure to bring
some intriguing, potentially horny people to your site, and if you're a tease, play it up. "Looking for Love. Hoping this
is the Right Place" is straight forward and also a play on the age old saying, so you're likely to get the right type of
response. But something so bland as "Just looking around to see what I find" will result in just that. looking,
because that's not the sort of headline people reply to. Give them something to work with.
Once you've moved past filling in your physical traits (and word to the wise- if you're only blonde when you remember to get your
tips frosted or you were athletic a few dozen donuts ago, it really is better to be honest upfront. Think of the stress you'll
save yourself when someone wants to meet and you have two days to look like the person in your description), it's time to describe
yourself and describe your ideal mate-the two toughest things one has to do.
I have two pieces of advice that might help make this process easier, and I want you to do them in this order. First, have a friend
describe you out loud and write down what they say. You can finesse it later and add your own personal stamp, but you'll be shocked
by the way friends see you- frequently in flattering ways you don't see yourself. Once they've said their peace, flesh it out by
writing how you speak. Don't worry about coming off like a literary master-this is a profile, not Chekhov. You want to sell yourself
in a positive light, and since we're most honest and forthright when we speak, what better way to write a couple of sentences about
ourselves.
Same rules apply when it's time to jot down what you want in someone else. Try telling a friend what you're looking for and write it
down like that-I guarantee you, what you say will be a hell of a lot more concise than what dribbles out when you stare down your
keyboard.
Photos, videos, audio, oh my. Now how many Web profiles allow you to upload your own audio message to folks perusing your profile?
None that I can think of. Here's where you really have a chance to shine.
With photos, show variety. No one wants to see a shot of your abs, a blurry, burry photo of you on vacation and some indecipherable
adult shot. If you're cute, if you have personality, if you have great photos with great friends, toss as many online as you can
scrounge up. Photos aren't just there to show people what you have to offer-they're there to show people what kind of life you lead.
Same with videos-I have a friend who has a video of him singing "Hit Me with Your Best Shot" at karaoke night posted to his
My Space. He's terrible, and people drop by to say hi to him constantly. Why? Because in a sea of sameness, he stands out. So those
tapes you've been stockpiling to send to America's Funniest Home Videos might just finally be of use. As for audio, I know some of
you will use this opportunity to put your 1-800 number voice to work, but unless you have something you really have to say and a
compelling way to say it-or you really do have a naturally sexy voice-I'm one to suggest leaving something a bit of a mystery. But
really, that's your call.
And the rest, my friends, is busy work-do you want emails, do you want spam, do you want to see naked photos? That I can't help you
with-it's all you.
If you opt to complete the advanced profile, it's filled with tons of questions designed to let others know more about you. Just be
honest-you'd be shocked how many people connect over the most basic things, from a shared love of the same movie to owning the same
breed of dog. Take some time here and be thorough-you're an interesting read if you allow yourself to be.
Now for those of you looking to put your best foot forward in person, some basic pointers before we move on to step four-Learning to
Read Other Profiles/Body Language.
Above all else, Be Yourself-People can tell when you're trying to be something that you aren't, and usually, it will end up backfiring
in your face.
Seek Out Places Where You Feel Comfortable-If you're the pool hall type, look for like minded people there, don't fore yourself to
attend upscale cocktail hours that are completely outside your comfort zone. The people you find in those places aren't likely to share
much in common with you anyway.
Keep the Conversation Light-When you are talking to someone who piques your interest, keep the conversation focused on things that will
allow you both to show off your personalities. Save taboo subjects like religion, politics and a woman's right to choose for a later date.
Keep Your Friends Close, but at Arms Length-When you're out with friends, it never hurts to mingle, do the round of introductions. But
it's also important to get some on one time. It never hurts to have your friends close by, but if they're in your face 24.7, it's tough
to establish that you're actually interested in this person.
Stay Upbeat-Dating can be frustrating, we all know that. But stay positive. If you view each person you meet as a potential new friend,
or at the very least, a potential for an interesting conversation, the time will go much faster, and you'll be that much more intrigued
by the prospects you stumble upon.
Be sure to check out part four or our relationship six part relationship series-Learning to Read Other Profiles/Body Language.
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