Have you ever stared in a mirror? I mean really stared into it. Not while you're putting on your mascara or trying to pop
a zit. Have you ever watched yourself in a mirror the way others see you out in the world, acting as you ordinarily do?
Of course you haven't, and why would you? If people saw themselves as the rest of the world sees them, we'd all be walking
around self-conscious, stressed and hyper sensitive.
Unfortunately, the rest of the world includes a handful of people you're going to potentially want to date one day, and while I'm
not suggesting you need to be keenly aware of every last thing your body does day to day, getting a good sense for what other people
see can't hurt. What you're convinced is your "killer smile" may come off like a used car salesman miles away from making
this month's quota. And that cool and composed posture you've always bragged about might come off as rigid as a 2 x 4.
First impressions say a lot about a person, so when you're out in the world of dating, you want to put your best foot forward. Read
some of these tips and then check to see how you measure up. Try looking in a mirror, but for a more accurate reading, ask friends
and learn to pay close attention to your body's natural reactions. You'd be surprised what you can pick up on just by having your
radar tuned in to catching certain habits.
Eyes
The eyes say a lot about a person, and they can almost always give away how interested you are in any given subject. Eye contact
is everything. Make sure to look your date in the eye when you're talking. Drifters (people who can make eye contact only for a
second before they wander off to lala land) lose major points in the dating game.
On the flip side, no one likes someone who constantly stares. There's a big difference between paying attention and leering.
Genuine interest in what someone's saying comes from the eyes. But it's also easy to spot a fake - someone who's trying way too
hard to give you their undivided attention. Try to come off as real - if you're into the person, it shouldn't be too hard.
Nose
You'd be shocked to learn how much expression originates from the nose. From flared nostrils to nose crinkles to that damn twitch
we can thank Samantha from Bewitched for introducing, the nose packs a tremendous amount of power.
I myself am of the nose crinkle school. I have a tendency to scrunch my nose until this little brick of white forms down the
center whenever I'm annoyed with what someone's saying to me. It's my thing and, until I was 22 years old, I had no clue I
did it. It was a dead giveaway for my dislike of a person or a conversation, all of my friends knew about it but no one told me.
Flared nostrils are a sign of frustration, twitches a sign of distraction and some people just scrunch up their nose in a
display of disgust. None of these ticks say "second date, please" so, take it from an expert and pay closer attention. And if
you're still lost, ask a friend.
Mouth
A smile is better than a frown any day, but frequently, smiles don't convey what you might intend them to you. Whether you smirk
or beam, a smile should be natural, not some face you put on to appear happy.
There's nothing worse than a fake smile. You know those perma-plastered looks that tend to sour once they've been held in place too
long. People who plant a smile on their faces tend to forget you smile with your whole face. Eyes, eyebrows, cheeks - all of these
things are designed to show expression. Usethem.
Of course, the best cure for a fake smile is to surround yourself with people who genuinely make you happy. If you find yourself
forcing to bear those pearly whites on a date, chances are it's not going well.
Sholders / Posture
Remember how your mother always told you to sit up straight? She was right! Nothing is more of a turn off that someone who slouches,
shoulders drooped, hips jutted to one side. It gives the distinct impression of a) boredom or b) a bad attitude, and neither of these
actions are compliments.
Sitting up straight with your shoulders back not only shows interest, it shows confidence, and most people find that a big turn on.
Hands
As a general rule, leave them alone. Fiddling with them shows impatience. If you don't know what to do with your hands, put them at
your side when standing or sit on them when you're at a table. It may sound awkward, but anything is better than sitting across the
table from a thumb twiddler or someone who cracks knuckles.
Nervous ticks of any kind pretty much just scream disinterest or boredom. The best way to find out if you have one is to ask a friend.
Believe me - anyone whose spent time with you has noticed.
Now that I have you all a nervous wreck, the most important thing to remember is that, when in doubt, be natural. Don't put on a show
or overdo things just to impress someone. Relax - once you practice getting a few of these bad habits under control, the rest will fall
into place.
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