Tell it Like it Is
Dr. Phil's made a killing off of it. The book, "He's Just Not That Into You" revolutionized it. And every Tuesday
and Wednesday, Simon Cowell uses the mentality to tell aspiring performers everywhere they should hang up their
dreams and head home.
The idea of telling it like it is may seem harsh, it may seem cruel, but sometimes, its necessary. I'm with you . dream crushing
Simon can go a bit too far sometimes, but don't you think its better he send a tone deaf girl home than give her a phone number
and charge her $500 for singing lessons? He's saving her time, money and heartbreak.
Which is where I and this article come in. So often, people come to me with questions about the wonderful world of online dating.
How to navigate it, where to start - the basics. But what intrigues me most about the questions are what they encounter once
they're up and running. These personal ads that seemingly say everything you could possibly want to know about a person, but
doing it all in code.
Have you ever stared at a web personal and thought, "what the hell does that mean?" Maybe you're one of those people who is well
aware that all clues indicating this is not the right person for you to chat with right in front of your face, and yet still, you
send them a message.
Well, instead of wasting your time, money and energy on chatting with people you don't need to be chatting with, we thought we'd
give you a little dose of tough love, weed through some of the profiles we see online and let you know what's really going on
behind the scenes.
Profile #1: Looking for guys who know how to party
While I wouldn't necessarily say this person is talking about drugs, it's likely. And anyone who's looking for a "relationship"
is not also looking for guys who know how to party. Say hi, but remember, if you do, be prepared to drop your undies - you might be
thinking candlelight and conversation, but for them, it's candle wax and no talking til you both get off.
Profile #2: Ambitious, motivated girl who knows what she wants
Dude, this chick will walk all over you . when she's done spending your money. The entire phrase just screams "control
freak," and unless you're one of those who likes a woman to wear the pants (all the flippin' time - like in bed, in
family budget meetings, when you're out golfing) in the family, find someone who's more an equal opportunity employer.
Profile #3: I've been hurt. Looking for someone to help me on
OK, I'm about to sound way harsh, but anyone who is looking for a relationship to help put together the pieces of his broken life
is looking for drama. Girls tend to see this type of headline as the sweet, sensitive, vulnerable man they've been looking for,
but hold up. You don't find the way out of a bad place in your mind by relying on other people to bring your smile back. Especially
people who don't know you, have no history with you. Do yourself a favor and shop for people who have less baggage.
Profile #4: No fats, no fems, white or latino only. No Uglies
Boy for someone who likes things drama free, they sure do come with a lot of strings attached. Anyone who puts this sort of
limitation on who they can or can't love is bound to find something in you they aren't too fond of. The goal is a relationship
is to ultimately find happiness. So why would you even attempt to go out with someone who's profile implies they're just going
to make you sad?
Profile #5: I have tons of friends, I'm only looking for lovers
OK, first off, they said lovers before relationships, so you have to know what they're really in the market for. Secondly,
what successful relationship doesn't begin in friendship? Do you really want to be in a dating situation with someone who's
put a cap on how many friends they have room for in their life? Talk about cold and unfeeling. Try someone who's a little
less closed off.
Profile #6: Family & friends first, then career
whatever else I have time for - I actually had one of my female friends tell he the guy whose first sentence said this,
verbatim, is the one she wanted to go to dinner with. Whatever else I have time for? So he fits you in somewhere between
logging off his computer and taking the dog out for a crap at night? That's a nice place to sit. Mom's making a lasagna
and you ain't invited. True, it could just be a poor choice of words, but I'd sure ask some questions first if I were you.
I'm not trying to scare you away from chatting with people online. Just trying to open your eyes a bit to who you're
really chatting with. If it looks too good to be true, it might be. And if it looks like it comes with some dents and
dings, well. best get those inspected. Chin up and happy dating. just do it with your eyes wide open.
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