You've taken the time to listen to messages and narrowed down your choices to one person you'd like to meet. You want
to talk with them to schedule a date. Should this be the extent of your phone conversation? Most people wait until the first
date to play "getting to know you." Unfortunately, you've missed out on an opportunity to make your first date a
more enjoyable and comfortable experience.
A first date can be awkward and clumsy. Looking for the things you have in common is hit and miss. If you use your phone
time wisely, you can find easy discussion topics going into the first date. Think of it as a pre-date. Most of us date
people we've met somewhere or that a friend has set us up with. With telephone dating, you don’t have that benefit. It's
up to you to make good choices.
Here are a few topics to explore before your first date:
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What are they looking for? Whether it's a one-night stand, a summer fling, or a long term relationship,
you should know what you're getting yourself into. This will set up the tone of your relationship; how you relate and
interact with each other. If you've found someone who's really looking for a hook-up tonight and you want a long term
relationship, you could be heading for some unnecessary heartache. Your goal is to meet people, not change them.
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What do they do for a living? Finding out what someone does for a living before the date can help you out
during the date. You'll have an opportunity to research their job and ask intelligent questions that will impress and
surprise your date.
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What's the family situation like? Ask about their parents, siblings, and children. Some of us have good
family relationships and some don't. Find out if this is a sensitive topic before your date.
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What do they like to do in their free time? What a person does in their free time is an important part of
who they are. If you enjoy spending time at home as opposed to being active outdoors, it's good to know before you end up on
a camping trip together.
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What kind of music do they like? If you've ever been on a date with someone who listens to heavy metal when
you'd rather listen to jazz, you understand the importance of music tastes. There are a lot of things that two people can be
opposites about, but music is often not one of those things.
These are just a few topics you can talk about before your date. The more you talk before, the better off you'll be. Other possible
topics: favorite movies and television shows, the last book they read, the last vacation they had, favorite restaurant . . . the
possibilities are endless. Getting to know them before the first date can help you avoid first date awkwardness. We've all been
there. When the conversation dries up and the only thing left to talk about is the weather. As a conversation topic, the weather
is a kiss of death. The only thing worse is silence. When you figure out you have nothing in common. No one wants to go through
that. Find out on the phone first.
There are a lot of advantages to telephone dating. If you're painfully shy, you can meet someone without the initial stress of face
to face encounters. Sometimes, it can be hard to come up with something to say off the cuff. If you're worried about safety, you can
choose to have two or three phone dates before actually meeting. If you're on a budget, you can find out if you're compatible before
spending money on dinner and a movie. On the telephone, you can carefully craft your message and browse other people's messages. When
you've found someone you like, you have the opportunity to get to know them before you meet. Ultimately, you may find yourself on a call
that lasts for hours thinking you can't remember the last time you laughed so much. But you'll never know unless you make the most of
your phone time.
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