The Definition of a date

Getting the First Date. Dating. A lot of us do it, but do we really understand what it is and what we can expect from it?

In general terms, a date is a meeting of two people at a pre-determined place and time for the purpose of getting to know each other. Nothing more. Nothing less. A date is an opportunity to assess the chemistry and compatibility of two people for a potential second date. When a couple continues dating eventually, at some point, the daters transition to being in a relationship.

The most difficult part of dating is finding someone you're interested in. And having that person be interested in you. Sometimes it seems like finding this mutual interest is harder than winning the lottery, or lightning striking twice on a sunny day. It does happen - for everyone - eventually. And when it does, you feel the physical and chemical spark that leads you to ask, "Would you like to go out on a date?" Asking someone out on that first date is scary. We all fear rejection. And we all feel euphoric when we hear, "Yes. I'd like to go out with you."

Here are a few tips to getting that first date:

  1. PLAN THE DATE BEFORE YOU ASK. Make the offer too good to resist by planning the date before you ask. Knowing something about your potential date is valuable information you can use to plan a good time. "Hey, I heard that you really like art. There's a new exhibit this month at the City Art Museum. Would you like to go with me?" How can they say no?
  2. LEAVE TIME BETWEEN THE ASK AND THE DATE. If you ask someone on a date for tomorrow night you're likely to get, "Sorry, I'm busy." Never ask for a date and specify a time for the date in the same sentence. Ask your potential date out first. Get the answer. If the answer is yes, then you can plan the date for a time you're both available. And make a note to call
  3. PRACTICE THE ASK. How many times have you stumbled over your words when you've finally gotten the courage to ask someone on a date? You end up looking foolish and probably ruin your chances of hearing "yes." Practice what you're going to say before you ask. You'll feel more confident and improve your chances of getting the first date.
  4. BE BRAVE. What's the worst you can hear? No? Not asking for the date is worse than hearing "no." Be brave. You might get a "yes." But you have to ask before you can hear the answer.
  5. DRESS THE PART. Whatever your expectations for the potential date might be, give it your best shot. When you ask for the date, be polite, complimentary and in a good mood. Dress nicely. Make sure your breath smells good. Give yourself the best chance to make a good impression. Showing some of your positive qualities upfront always increases your chemistry factor.
  6. LEAVE THE PICK-UP LINES AT HOME. Every guy has one. The sure fire one-liner that always gets the date. Chances are the one-liner was probably lifted from a bad Hollywood script. We've heard them before and the "clever" pick-up line probably won't increase your chances of a score. Be ready for rejection if this is your tactic.
  7. ACCEPT REJECTION GRACIOUSLY. You'll probably hear "no" more often than "yes" when you ask for a date. It's the law of dating averages. Accept rejection graciously and be polite in your embarrassment. It will say a lot about the quality of person you are. Exiting with a complement would be memorable too. Maybe you can ask again another time if you're brave enough. We've heard many stories about love through persistence. They may say "no" many times until suddenly they say "yes." And the couple falls in love.

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