Are You Ready for a Relationship?
Most people claim they want to be in a relationship. However, there's a big difference between wanting to be in a
relationship and actually being ready for one.
Relationships are a huge commitment. They require trust, honesty, self-respect, compromise, clarity on who you are
and what you bring to a relationship. The requirements seem endless.
The age-old saying, "how can you love someone else if you don't love yourself?" is a common question
uttered by therapists. Undoubtedly, you've probably asked yourself the same question. We all have insecurities,
self-doubts, and some amount of poor self-esteem. Without self worth, you pour every ounce of energy into trying
to cover up your insecurities. When you put yourself out on the front lines of dating, most people can read you
like a Dr. Seuss book. Every awkward move, insecure look, and self-doubting gesture is easily transparent.
Don't let fear discourage you from taking the first steps toward making yourself relationship ready. If you're
feeling hesitant, confused or perhaps simply stuck, maybe you can benefit from a few of these suggestions. And
chances are that the person you're dating, or about to meet is feeling many of the same apprehensions.
NEVER ASSUME SOMEONE'S NOT INTERESTED.
What's worse, 30 seconds of rejection or 30 years of never knowing? Being scared that someone may not like you or not
want to date you is natural, but it's not healthy to let fear run your life. It takes guts to date. If you want a
relationship, you have to be willing to put yourself on the line. The possibility of rejection is part of that process.
Otherwise, you're bound to spend a lot of time wondering if happiness just walked out the door.
ALWAYS ACT WITH NO REGRETS.
We've all done or said things we wish we hadn't. That's human nature. The trick is to use each situation as a learning
experience - not as a weapon to beat yourself up. If you try something that doesn't work, try something new the next
time. There is no sure-fire way with which to maneuver the dating scene. Why let one bad attempt get you down?
ALWAYS LOOK AND ACT YOUR BEST.
It's better to be over-dressed than under-dressed. Anyone who has ever said they felt over-dressed for an occasion wasn't
looking at the big picture. Showing up in a tux to a bonfire is a bit over the top. But, within reason, you always want to
kick it up a notch when going out. No one will ever fault you for looking better than everyone else in the room. But if you
show up to cocktail hour in a Hurley t-shirt and faded board shorts, you can almost guarantee you're flying solo.
CHECK YOUR BAGS AT THE DOOR.
Everyone has baggage, but it's what you do with that baggage that separates the dateable from the losers. Your friends will
sit and listen to ex-boyfriend drama - a first date won't. Venting about stress at work, family problems and the friend you
want to kick in the head, all add up to scaring off a date with your excessive baggage. Grab a pen and tell your journal.
KNOW WHAT YOUR WANT.
Superficial things like blue eyes, blonde hair and an amazing body are just starters. We all have a type we're attracted to.
Knowing the qualities you seek in someone beyond their physical aesthetics will help you define if a date can become a
potential relationship. Are they career minded? Do they want kids? Are your political and religious views in sync? Make sure
the qualities you're seeking are realistic, and try not to sacrifice them just because someone hot looks your way twice.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT:
So before you go back to stressing about that first impression, remember-half of the people out there in the dating world
don't make a first impression. In fact, they don't make any impression. They're forgettable, and I guarantee you, no date
on this list is forgettable. Chin up. You're already half way there. You've got the tools. Now knock it home.
MARKET YOURSELF FOR MAXIMUM SALE.
Market yourself like real estate. No one's buying the rundown property at the end of the street with a 30-year-old roof and
termites. Dress up. Dig deep to discover what's truly unique and intriguing about you. Forget about the negative, be positive
and exude charm. Make yourself the house on the block everyone wants to live in. And, never give your date a reason to doubt
that you're as great as you seem to be.
SELF CONFIDENCE CAN BE FAKED.
Sometimes you don't arrive at self-confidence until you've mastered the art of faking it. No one wakes up 100-percent sure of
who they are. It takes time, practice and determination. Besides, a convincing act can sometimes do the trick. No one needs to
see your fear. The old saying, "Never let them see you sweat" holds true here. When you're walking the walk of
self-confidence, after a while, the real thing kicks in.
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