The Blow Off: How to Know When You're Walking a One-Way Street
Ever heard the phrase "he's just not that into you!" Millions of women who watch Oprah or Dr. Phil have,
and it's proven to be quite a freeing phrase. The problem is, so many people still don't want to acknowledge the
very real possibility that the guy or girl you're gushing over has absolutely no interest in anything you have to
offer.
Case in point (and because I think examples do a much better job of illustrating big points than I do): I have a friend
who really likes straight guys. He's gay. They are his dish du jour, if you will, and without fail, put him at a party,
an event, anywhere straight guys are likely to be drinking and he throws himself at them. They never bite. They never will.
They're straight. If it were just about sex, I might not take such issue, because as we all know, booze can make people do
crazy things. But it's about love. He genuinely wants one of these guys to fall in love with him.
I can't help but wonder if someone could get this "he's just not that into you" mentality to sink into his totally
snowed brain, he might actually turn his attentions toward more likely recipients of his affections.
And so, for all of you who've ever been in lust with someone who doesn't know you're alive and wondered, "Why can't I
let it go?". read on. The signs were there. You just chose to ignore them. And if online personals and phone dating are
more your thing, well then you'll find this revelation particularly helpful.
Are You the Right Type?
Truth be told, some people are narrow-minded in terms of their approach to dating. They might only like career minded blondes
who are 5'10" and over with six pac abs, and if you're 5'6" on a good day, pushing 180lbs and brunette, you're facing
an uphill battle from the get go. So crush a little, let your fantasies take you on a journey, then move on. You'll be far
happier than staring at empty inboxes for days on end.
The Word 'Friend' is Used Liberally
As in, "you're such a good friend" or "I'm really looking for new friends." Also interchangeable
with "aren't you adorable" or "I think of you like a brother/sister." If ever there were a more
obvious sign they don't think you in the romantic sense, file kiss offs (phrases that sound like these) away in your
brain to call on in future situations.
Your E-mails are Met With One Word Replies
I'm putting myself on the line here! I remember an email I sent to a hottie I met online that went something like
this. "I love your pics. Great smile. You seem like someone I'd really like to get to know. I love what you
have to say in your profile. Hope all is well." The reply? "Hi!" Not into me! But I wrote back and
wasted time, energy and hope on something that was so not meant to be. I'd have been much better off moving on to
what was behind screen number two.
You're Sacrificing Your Integrity for the Sake of a Hot Pic
You've said it before and you'll say it again! You're sick of dating guys who (fill in the blank). And yet, here you are.
Staring at the exact same guy you've sworn off nearly a thousand times. But he's so hot, so gorgeous. So sleep with him,
send him an e-mail, but don't start planning your wedding. In fact, better yet, if you're the type who becomes clingy
quickly, you're smarter to just move on. Now I know this isn't a case of him blowing you off, but if your personalities
clash as much as you think they will, it's only a matter of time before he sees it too.
Ever Heard of 'The Slip?'
It's a classic game of cat and mouse. You hit on someone who then spends the rest of the night trying to get away from
you. And yet I see it time and time again. If every time you turn around, the someone you've been trying to make a
connection with over the course of the evening is nowhere to be found, that's a sign something's not quite right in paradise.
They aren't just busy - they aren't interested!
You Can't Get a Definitive Answer
"Are you into me?" Yes? No? Seems pretty simple. Well, "You're cute" or "I like talking to you"
are pretty much a polite way of saying no, because contrary to the belief that people try and hide their emotions, when asked
a direct question, if the answer is positive, most people are pretty upfront. Side-stepping the question is a way of avoiding
confrontation.
You've Been Blocked
If it goes this far, you probably missed all the warning signs leading up to this, but being blocked from communicating with
someone through their profile is a pretty good indication they just aren't that into you. Besides, at this point, unless you
have a phone number or an address, there's really not much you can do. Save yourself that humiliation of being the person who
runs his head against a brick wall over and over and just call it a night!
Besides.
There are Plenty of Fish in the Sea - I know! In the moment of seeing someone who absolutely takes your breath away it's hard
to imagine there will ever be another. But there will be. In fact, there are. In chat rooms, in profiles, in bars, in church,
in malls, in singles groups. whatever your cup of tea is, they're out there. So stop beating yourself up because one person
didn't find you attractive and move on. Trust me. A date or two and you'll have totally forgotten about old what's his name!
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