Dating Dilemmas
Nobody wants to be single. OK, some people take time off from relationships to find themselves, excel in their career,
buckle down and get through school, but in the grand scheme of things, nobody longs to spend their twilight years alone.
Yet when you ask someone who's obviously a catch why he or she is flying solo, they come armed with a million excuses for why
they've yet to find that special someone. Too busy, no one piques their interest; maybe all the good ones are taken or gay.
We've heard the excuses a million times-maybe we're the ones who keep giving them.
In fact, if you're reading this, chances are you are single, and maybe, just maybe, you're sitting their with a foul taste in your
mouth trying to come up with a valid reason you should close this screen and log off. Don't. If you're one of those excuse makers,
you need to be here, and for every reason you can offer for being single, we've got an argument for why you shouldn't be.
There's No Time
How long did it take you to read the last three paragraphs? That's about how long it takes to zip through five profiles
online and see if anything catches your eye. Shoot them a wink, an email, a cyber-hug- whatever it is you do-and move on.
If you aren't taking the initiative to hit up bars, mixers, singles events, maybe church groups. if you aren't putting
yourself out there, what do you have to loose by trying a chat room or online profiles. And if the Web really isn't your
thing, sped dating seminars take an hour out of your life. Everyone can find an hour here and there!
All the Good Ones are Gay or Taken
In my experience, girls who complain that all the good ones are gay spend way too much time hanging out with their gay
male friends. If you go to gay clubs, bars and birthday parties, chances are you will run in a circle of gay men. Try going
out with your straight girlfriends sometime. Same thing for the taken dilemma. Couples tend to hang out with other couples.
So if your friends are constantly making reservations for seven-the three happy couples and you-chances become slim you're
going to leave dinner with a special someone.
I've Been Burned Too Many Times
It's been my experience that people who get burned over and over again in love are doing something wrong. but that doesn't
mean you should throw in the towel. Take a look at the people you've fallen for in the past. Do they have anything in common?
Do the relationships move too fast? Maybe you have a habit of going from 0-60 before you've even taken your foot off the
brake. There are a million questions you can and should ask yourself when a relationship fails-giving up and resolving to
lead a lonely life is simply not an option.
I Do Better on My Own
This is the most common excuse I hear from people who are married to their jobs, and you know what-it's bullshit. As we can
plainly see by taking a good look around us, there is no such thing as your typical relationship. Sure some people get married,
have two kids and move to the suburbs. Others never get married and form a partnership. Some people live their life in a
succession of meaningful, albeit not forever, relationships. These are all possibilities, but you're never going to find
anyone who makes you smile if you simply say, 'I'm not dating at all.' Try and look for people with similar wants and desires
as you. You never know what sort of relationship you'll stumble into.
I'm Not the Dating Type
Read this again and again and again. No one is the dating type. You got that! I don't know one person who loves the idea
of spending a nervous dinner recycling boring banter about their life, their job, they exes, their family in the hopes
that something with spark a more interesting conversation. But people do it, because when they do find that conversation
spark, it's like nothing you've ever felt before. The things in life that are truly worth enjoying are the things you take
a bit of a risk for, so get out of that negative mindset and give it a go.
No One Piques My Interest
I tend to find it tough to believe when people use this one. To say no one piques your interest is to say that if you were
staring t a line up of every available person on earth, you'd literally fall asleep. So unless you're asexual, knock it off
and stop kidding yourself. Maybe no one piques your interest in the circles you run in. so try running in different circles.
This is the classic excuse of the sort people who lets friends they have nothing in common with set them up on blind dates.
If you're more the art museum/wine tasting type than the cocktail hour/Hollywood party type, get yourself out of that scene
and into a setting where you're more apt to fit in.
And finally, the worst excuse of all.
People Just Aren't that Into Me - Keep repeating that-it's bound to stick sooner or later. People have an uncanny knack of
picking up on subliminal messaging, and every time you walk into a social situation thinking no one's going to like you, they
won't. I often speak of false confidence-it's how I found my real confidence. Back when I had none, I faked it. I walked into
a room full of hot singles and I played a role, and it worked. People talked to me. I was suddenly noticed. And after a fair
amount of time, something happened-I realized I didn't have to fake it anymore. Now I still have bouts of insecurity. we all
do. And when that happens, I go back to that role and whip it out for another run around the block. And it never fails me.
Find your mask. Find the safe spot where you can conquer the world and give it a try. After a while, I guarantee you, the role
will become part of your persona, and the singles that supposedly don't like you will suddenly pay you some mind.
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